Breakdown

I know the fact that it’s okay for us to be sad, or angry, or scared, or frustrated, or even bored. Usually when we feel any negative emotion we do our best to get rid of it or push it away. But trying not to feel something often makes you feel it even more intensely. Life is full of unexpected turns and unwelcome changes.

Putting on a brave face is exhausting. Trying to pretend that you are not feeling scared or sad when you are drains you of energy. I’ve been smiling and acted like I have nothing to worry about. But suddenly I felt this urge to cry. Having a good cry actually makes me feel better.

I don’t know why. Does that mean I’m not strong anymore? Or does that mean I am not happy anymore?

When people tell me I just worry too much it makes me feel like I really am just a stupid person who worries about too much. Sometimes when I worry, it helps just telling myself out loud that it’ll be okay, it sounds silly, but sometimes hearing it and being able to say it out loud helps, it can be reassuring.

Letting go of the past and accepting my new reality is so important in building a new life. I need to learn the lessons from the past, but at the same time, I have to make sure that I won’t let it become an anchor weighing me down.

I have been knocked down a few times but I keep getting up, even when I don't think I can. And I’m sure, this time I can bounce back higher. Everyone is good at something. I just need to find what I’m good at.

I'm just trying to find my happy ending. Even if I need to start all over again from scratch, I’m willing to do that.

I need to get on with my life and be happy again.