Manis Dan Enak.

Meowwwww.

Shine

she knows it´s time
to say goodbye
to all that she wanted
for all that she loves.

devotes her mind
to thoughts divine
for all that she needed
and all that she loves

recites the lines
repeats the rites
to all that she needed
and wanted most

won´t you shine tonight
in the face of the light?
with you on my mind
i can make it through
make it through the night

she bides her time
with quiet pride
for all that she wanted
and all that she loves

she begs and pleads
he´s all she needs
and ever wanted
she calls out again

won´t you shine tonight
in the face of the light?
with you on my mind
i can make it through
make it through the night

she takes him in
on calloused knees
(but he´s not there)
the emptiness is all she sees
so she begs and she pleads

won´t you
shine tonight?
In the face of the light?
with you (with you on my mind I can make it through;
with you on my mind I can make it)

won´t you shine tonight
in the face of the light?
with you on my mind
i can make it through
make it through the night

won´t you shine and shine tonight?
won´t you shine in the face of the light?
with you on my mind
i can make it though
make it through the night
though this night.

It's Killing Me

Maybe browsing on Godiva Chocolatier's website when I'm hungry is not a good idea. Fuck.

Arena's Wedding

A Pleasant Surprise

Yesterday was a very tiring day.

I was supposed to pack all the stuff on Thursday but I ended up going to IOI mall playing snooker with Shah, Bear and Arena. And then we had late night dinner at Canai SS15. Arrived home at 5am, I went to bed straight away.

I woke up at 12 and practically threw everything inside the box. It was hectic. And the agent gave me the keys for the new house at 3pm. But it was raining and my friends were out having lunch. So Shah texted, asking me to move the stuff later around 5pm.

So while waiting, I’m just surfing the web. Facebooki-ng, and trying to download things as much as I could. There will be no more 4mbps internet connection for me.

Until Shah came screaming in front of my door, like he always do. He came with Mai, and I was kind of weird because Shah said he wants to go out for a lunch with Mai. But instead they end up knocking on my door. But of course I invited them inside.

We talked, about things. Like always. But they were talking about things that I don't know. I just sat on the couch, hoping that they will go to lunch faster. I have mountains to put inside the box. And Shah were teasing my flabby tummy until Bear shouted from outside, asking me to open the door.

Great.

Thank god he came. I felt very awkward watching them two already. Haha. So yeah of course, I go running to the door. And, at that moment I can’t believe my eyes.

It was Zainal, on his knees with a rose, sweating like hell. And Feroro Rocher on the floor, in a heart shape.

OMG.

A 2nd monthsary surprise from him. I was speechless for few seconds. It was wonderful.Everything was perfect.

I didn’t know that he’s going to celebrate our second monthsary. He went home on Thursday, so of course I assumed that there will be no celebration. Plus I am busy moving out to my new house.

But he came all the way from Petaling Jaya to surprise me. He is one hell of sweet boyfriend. He is awesomely sweet! Honestly I don’t know how to react. But it really touches my heart to see him sweating like that.

Actually, it’s not that hot outside. Haha. So I was kind of wondering why.

And then I found out that he was on his knees for almost 15 minutes. He sent Shah and Mai to make sure that I don’t go out, because he wants to set up the flowers and the chocolate.

The original plan was Bear is going to call me to come out. Too bad my cell phone was on my bed, and I was at the living hall with Shah and Mai. Bear and Zainal tried to call Shah and Mai. But Shah left her cell phone and Mai switched off her phone. So Zainal waited 15 minutes outside my door. Haha, so much for a surprise eh? Poor him.

Sayang. Thanks for doing it. You made me feel like a million bucks. You do. You are a work of art, and I love you, Zainal Ariff.

p/s I really wish that he texted me to take a shower and put some nice clothes on before the surprise. I look horrible in the picture!

Post Yang Agak Emotional.

Aku bangun dalam keadaan bilik yang tunggang-tebalik. Baju everywhere. Bila aku bangun nak pergi tandas, aku nampak susunan dan timbunan kotak berisi baju-baju dan handbags aku.

Kemudian aku nampak Yun masukkan barang-barang dia ke dalam kotak. Aku tolong dia tanggal-tanggalkan balik meja Ikea yang kami letak diantara katil. Kat meja tu tempat aku make-up. Kat atas meja tu jugak la aku pernah letak pepper shaker berbentuk ‘penis’ yang kawan aku belikan dari Russia untuk aku. Tapi bila Yun complain yang dia tak larat dah bangun pagi and nampak benda tu, aku alih kan taruk bawah katil sampai sekarang.

Haha, sorry Maja.

Bila aku turun bawah, ruang tamu dah tak macam dulu lagi. Dah kosong. Dah tak de laptop Yun and laptop aku atas meja. Dah tak de timbunan-timbunan buku Engineering. Dah tak de handbag-handbag aku bergantungan dengan banyaknya.

Banyak dah benda berlaku kat ruang tamu ni. Kat sini la tempat kawan-kawan aku lepak bila datang bertandang. Kadang-kadang kitorang borak sampai pukul 3-4 pagi dan diorang tidur atas lantai. Dan aku akan selimutkan diorang bila diorang tengah tidur.

Aku pergi dapur, dah takde dah electric cooker dan periuk nasi. Kat dapur ni lah aku pernah masakkan lunch and dinner untuk Yun. And Yun pernah masak breakfast untuk aku. Dan kat dapur ni la aku masakkan dinner untuk Zainal.

Aku ingat lagi, aku sedih sebab SLR aku rosak masa aku dapat job offer amik gambar kat KL Live. Aku and Zainal plan nak stay at Cyberjaya for the weekend since dia pon ada rock climbing pagi tu. And he offered untuk hantar and ambik aku kat Putrajaya Central. Aku pon malas sebenarnya nak drive masuk KL. So pagi tu dia amik la aku, and aku check la SLR. Tengok-tengok there is something wrong with it and I have to cancel the job.

God knows betapa kecewa nya aku masa tu.

Aku pon dengan emosional nya nak balik Bangi. But he stopped me from doing that. Maka aku offer la nak masak dinner untuk dia. Dia bawak aku pergi Jusco Seri Kembangan, and that was the first time we go shops together.

Haha honestly aku rasa masa tu macam aku dah kahwin.

Malam tu aku masak untuk dia. Ayam tandoori, aku tumis tauhu Jepun and sup cendawan. Oh ayam tandoori adalah favorite Yun. Dulu aku selalu masak untuk dia. Haha lepas makan, aku, Aiman and Zainal lepak la tengok cerita Finding Nemo. And bila cerita tu habis around 12, dia tiba pegang tangan aku ajak aku keluar.

Mula-mula dia nak blind fold aku, tapi aku tak nak. Aku tutup mata. Dia pimpin aku sampai depan tangga, and bila aku buka mata. Aku nampak Domo-Kun dalam bonet kereta dia, and there was flower all over it. That was one of the sweetest moment in my life. Macam-macam dah la berlaku kat rumah ni.

This place means a lot to me, and it’s broke my heart to leave this place.

I’m gonna miss Shah knocking at my door at 2am asking for food. Or Bear coming here in the middle of the night just to talk about his problem. I’m going to miss watching Acap doing his tummy dance while wearing my shades. I’m gonna miss studying with Faridah during finals and freaking out about the paper. I’m gonna miss Amir and his girlfriend crashing in my house. I’m gonna miss, us laughing and rolling on the floor together.

And I’m gonna miss the moment when I’m secretly staring at Zainal when he were sleeping on the couch, waiting for me to finish my makeup.

I’m gonna miss everything.

*tears*

Yun cuci rumah.


Arena pon tolong.


Shah and Bear tolong angkat barang masa pindah dulu.


Aku masak dinner untuk Yun.


Yun makan dengan muka happy.


Aksi gembira dengan kawan-kawan.


Rijal came.


Zainal tertido.


Pandangan terakhir Yun sebelum dia pindah.


Her stuff.


Last dinner at my house.


Housemates.

Second.

The word forever seems like a long time. But if you’re with the person that you love, then forever isn’t long enough.


Happy 2nd Monthsary, you will always be loved by me.
=)

It's True

Whatever you give a woman, she will make it greater.

Give her sperm, she will give you a baby.

Give her a house, she will give you a home.

Give her groceries, she will give you a meal.

Give her a smile, and she will give you her heart.

She multiplies and enlarges what she is given.

So if you give her crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit.

Custom Made

Aku agak kebosanan, dan dah lama tak berkarya. Maka malam ni aku mengahasilkan wallpaper baru untuk desktop aku. Aku gunakan theme blog aku sebagai background wallpaper ni. Dan burung comel ala-ala Twitter ni aku gunakan sebagai subject utama.

Aku gunakan sebagai background FastDial, dan desktop aku. So, apa macam? Cantik?

Oh, aku juga telah mengambil sedikit masa untuk edit icon di header aku.

p/s kalau rasa macam nak juga guna wallpaper ni, click and save picture je. aku upload original size.

Breakdown

I know the fact that it’s okay for us to be sad, or angry, or scared, or frustrated, or even bored. Usually when we feel any negative emotion we do our best to get rid of it or push it away. But trying not to feel something often makes you feel it even more intensely. Life is full of unexpected turns and unwelcome changes.

Putting on a brave face is exhausting. Trying to pretend that you are not feeling scared or sad when you are drains you of energy. I’ve been smiling and acted like I have nothing to worry about. But suddenly I felt this urge to cry. Having a good cry actually makes me feel better.

I don’t know why. Does that mean I’m not strong anymore? Or does that mean I am not happy anymore?

When people tell me I just worry too much it makes me feel like I really am just a stupid person who worries about too much. Sometimes when I worry, it helps just telling myself out loud that it’ll be okay, it sounds silly, but sometimes hearing it and being able to say it out loud helps, it can be reassuring.

Letting go of the past and accepting my new reality is so important in building a new life. I need to learn the lessons from the past, but at the same time, I have to make sure that I won’t let it become an anchor weighing me down.

I have been knocked down a few times but I keep getting up, even when I don't think I can. And I’m sure, this time I can bounce back higher. Everyone is good at something. I just need to find what I’m good at.

I'm just trying to find my happy ending. Even if I need to start all over again from scratch, I’m willing to do that.

I need to get on with my life and be happy again.